Thursday, October 30, 2014

Vlogtober #30: TVs and Tatercats

So, Tater has this thing where she likes to snooze in front of the TV while we're watching our shows.

She only does this when we're watching TV. The rest of the time she has zero fucks to give to that area, aside from using it as a launchpad to jump on Pipcat. Soon as we sit down, though...

The only time it really causes a problem is when we're using the TV remote instead of the cable box remote. Then she's right in front of the signal receiver, and it's impossible to do anything through her fat little ass. But we can't get mad, because honestly - who could be mad at that squishy little furball?

This is a cat who is so very pleased to be having a picture taken.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Vlogtober #19/20: Shark Week Movie Marathon - Wrong Turn

As most women will tell you, Shark Week sucks. I'm spending mine marathoning the Wrong Turn movies and sucking down Chef Boyardee and chocolate in absolutely shameful amounts.

My review of the first Wrong Turn is that, while not terribly good and with a glaringly obvious continuity error at the beginning (FLOWER NECKLACE, I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU) it's actually not bad. It's a combo of lost in the forest and deformed-cannibal movie, which is fine by me, and at least the hero doesn't do anything stupid other than that bit at the start where he completely fails to keep an eye on the road. However, he's calm, collected, thinks things through, and doesn't go rushing into situations all willy-nilly. Plus it has Eliza Dushku being Eliza Dushku, and that's always nice.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Bath Time: A Tragedy in One Act


Enter Sam, a dork of the highest proportions; and Tater, a cat of tumblerous deeds

Sam has had a bad day. She has been feeling quite ill and out-of-sorts. Desirous of relaxation and a return to feeling at least sort of well, she runs a bath.

Exeunt Tater

Sam begins to enter the bath.

Enter ants of great multitude

Sam begins to wail in preparation for the battle ahead, not out of exasperation or anything.

Ants ignore the giant human.

Sam attempts to bathe in the knowledge that the ants can be disposed of upon leaving the bath. This knowledge fails to comfort, and she gives up, washes her hair and retreats from the bath.

After wrapping up in a towel, Sam begins to probe the darkest recesses of the house for a can of Fucking Raid. There are no cans of Fucking Raid. There are no boxes of Fucking Borax. But then...success! A freshly-purchased bottle of Fucking Toilet Bowl Cleaner With Bleach is located.

Ants fail to sense impending dooooom.

Sam laughs quietly to herself as she carefully douses the entrance of the ant brigade. The small insects are helpless before her bleachy onslaught, which not only defeats the pesky intruders but also whitens the dirty grout upon which they crawl.

Satisfied with a job well done, she leaves the small entrance with a healthy dousing of Fucking Toilet Bowl Cleaner With Bleach to forestall any adventurous ants that might attempt to retake the bath and retreats to her bedroom.

Exeunt ants

Exeunt Sam

Enter Sam and Tater for final bow and accolades